Consistent Supernova

lately i've been thinking about how women can be so intimidated by the next woman that they feel looks better than she or in some cases is doing better(what ever that mean..money or status wise i guess)... I can say that I use to have this bad...due to issues with myself and not knowing my own self worth, having low self esteem, being jealous, and not knowing who i am (i still working on it). the jealousy is no longer there nor the low self esteem but the level of me getting to know myself is growing continuously so I can say i'm growing out of this bad trait. anyway. i witness how the prettiest girls get jealous over another woman that they they feel may talk or associate with the same guy they do...or have the same job as she and the attention is now taken away from her and on to the new pretty girl. Ladies why? Why be jealous of the next lady. Ok to a certain degree i can understand you maybe use to being the "pretty girl" in the spot that all the men wanna get at ...

i was just thinking about how most of us are just programmed robots walking around. due to the fact that maybe 95% of what we know is only because someone told us..or we read someone else's point of view or theory and thought it to be true or fact. and just maybe that 5% are things we decided to label our own, use our own point of view to decipher, and the hardway experience. I'm thinking what if a person went throughout life without anyone telling them anything? Or what certain things meant, stand for and or are used for. All that they know they learned through making their own assumptions/ideas/and configurations. Take Ariel from the little mermaid for example. she knew nothing about the human race but was always curious. Certain items that she found she ended up calling and using them for what she thought they were used for until she was shown or told otherwise. My thing is to the human race they may have looked at her as silly or ignorant. But was she really? Because she th...

so this is another touching dream that woke me up in awe...I didn't really get to think about it cuz the way I woke up I had no time to think about it..... "If you could only believe in me...let show you how I really feel really feel for you cuz you are everything yea...ooh oh yea yea yea..." and every 5minutes keyshia cole goes off on my phone alarm...me constantly hitting the snooze button... for that last time I decided to hit it again..It was 6:45am...I rolled over on the couch and went back to sleep..... So I’m at this amazing resort for mature individuals...its' sunny outside...blue sky...water was everywhere laid out nicely in pools and lakes and an amazing theme park as well. I decided to go with my sisters to this little hang out spot...It was me shanda, woochee, woo, and kenlada...we're all dressed up looking nice and mingling...to my surprise I spot my classmate and friend "Staci" she looked very nice had on a black off the shoulder fitted scr...

so I woke up this morning feeling very emotional due to the fact I had just awaken from a dream that was so real at the time of my sleeping. Well as far back as I can remember... I was at some type of sea World Park where they showcases certain whales, sharks, dolphins, etc doing tricks and such. but before I went to this spot (just remembered) I had just gotten off a plane with a voodoo priestess...me her, and about two other girls were dancing...it was like I was back in the old days doing belly dancing to entertain men...one girl received lots of tips and I was like I should get tipped to for all the hard work I do..So she gave me a $10 bill and it had the words "play money" on it. so I told her the guy gave her fake money so we went to confront him and he then took the money back and I walked off to see a car that had weed in it... I informed my voodoo priestess that this was there because I know she liked weed so she got it and we ended up back in a building located in a...

I wrote this today at work...not feeling too good. as crazy as it sounds I don't feel like being around sitting at a desk and boredly looking like I belong at the lost and found party hardy and I refused the Bacardi instead I took the nuvo and patron to the head now I’m suffering and in need of a bed gosh Monday mornings suck if I was faithfully being the gangsta balla that lives within me about these corporate jobs I wouldn't give a fuck as crazy as it sounds I don't feel like being around sitting here feeling trapped and ready to get out this unprogressive town jump in jump out I threw myself about going crazy needing to scream then fall asleep on a comfy couch beds are freaking over rated...gimme a pillow so I can degrade it. freak Friday can't get here quicker my silly tired ass is just in a hurryto get to either that blue, or clear, or brown liquor ..hahahaha...my nonchalant ass is still around oh well guess I’ll go find some useful to do with my time I got till 43...

I got skills to pay my bills therefore i don't need your dick or your cheap thrills you said us doing business is where it's at so my nigga how bout you let it just be that. thanks for your compliments but constantly telling me i'm sexy business wise is irrelevant do i need to wear turtle necks? do i need loose the tight pants do i need to cover my head legs thighs and my little ass to keep your mouth in check? obviously i do cuz i get no business partner respect from you should've known better than to dress so sexy cuz now all this nigga can think of is how he wanna stretch me sure i'm happy that i got this wonderful job but is it only cuz that vanilla scent made you wanna eat me like a corn on the cob? fuck this shit i'm have to turn muslim in this bitch respect my own body and wrap it head to toe and save it for that special man who's eyes i feel honored to show. can't be too sexy cuz i never get taken respectfully serious think just cuz i can shake m...

ever feel like sometimes you just let yourself go too far then when you realize where you came from that you slightly forgot who you are? drowsy i am of playing in this field all love as been drained but i refuse to complain my head is light from last night decided to party and mingle right but the sacrifice that is due today is not so bright wish i could curl my toes and pull the covers over my head fuck sitting at this desk i'd rather be in bed such a deep thinker each day i forget who i am constantly trying to fall down this hole that's getting old why is there a hole? feel like i'm trapped searching for knowledge with no in between gaps oh how i love information but am i wise to what i apply...